The Tale of the John Hancock Elevators

I am secretly afraid of elevators. A few weeks ago I rode the elevators to the top of the 102-story Empire State Building. I nearly had a heart attack on the way up, and another one on the way down. I don't think I'm afraid of heights or anything. I don't mind BEING in high places. I just don't like getting there. I'm always feeling like I'm one broken cable away from plunging to a very unhappy ending.

This does not sit well with the fact that I work in the John Hancock Tower, a 60-story building. Our offices are located between the 44th and the 48th floors. Translation: I have to spend a lot of time riding the elevators.

But these are not just REGULAR elevators. They're strange and confusing. And on top of that, I'm pretty much convinced that they're haunted.

Exhibit A: These elevators are divided by floor range. So there's a separate set that go to every 10 or so floors, which is pretty standard for tall buildings. Okay. But these elevators are ALSO separated by evens and odds. So for instance, there is a specific set of elevators that go to the ODD FLOORS ONLY between 37 and 47. To get the the EVEN floors, you have to go UPSTAIRS via escalator (which I am also secretly afraid of, but that's another story). Once you get upstairs you will be greeted with yet another fleet of deathly elevators separated by floor ranges. Somebody told me this is because the elevators in the building are "stacked." I don't know what that means exactly, but I definitely don't like what it sounds like.

So I've been spending a lot of time on the 48th floor. Sometimes instead of going upstairs to get on the elevators that take you to EVEN floors, I just say to heck with it an ride the ODD elevators up to 47, and then from there ride up to 48. Which brings me to be Exhibit B.

The other day I rode up to the 47th floor, ultimately on a quest to 48. Now I swear to you that the HIGHEST button in this elevator was 47. So I reach the 47th floor, step out, hit the button to go up, step back in to the SAME ELEVATOR SPACE, and suddenly the buttons go up to 48. WAIT A MINUTE!! This all happened in about 15 seconds. I was pretty sure that the elevator I had just stepped out of HADN'T EVEN MOVED! I'm not even sure the doors closed!! And even if they did... did some sort of secret elevator with a '48' button come from a hiding space behind the wall???

Later on I even verified that I wasn't crazy by double checking that the 37th-47th floor elevators only have buttons up to 47. So where did this mysterious extra button come from?? Conclusion: haunted elevators. Seriously. I had a haunted alarm clock. It's possible.

I also get dizzy riding the elevators up and down everyday. I think I can get up to the 48th floor in this building faster than I can get up to the 3rd floor in my apartment.

I'm thinking that maybe my next job will be in a very small building where I will become good friends with the stairs.