I Might Be Crazy

Today I started rubbing shampoo on my face because I thought it was my moisturizing lotion. Yeah. I was wondering why it wasn't blending in. And why it had a weird scent.

I have also been guilty of losing my cell phone in the refrigerator and trying to drink from water bottles with the cap on. And then, the other day at work, I get a call from facilities group informing me that they had my credit card, because someone had found it in the building and turned it in. My credit card! I didn't even know I had lost it! At least I work very hard to build up good karma points so that when I unknowingly lose my credit card in a 60-story building, the universe will have the good grace to see that some nice stranger turns it in.

But still. Sometimes I wonder if I will make it to 30.

I have been thinking lately about what it would be like to live in the west. Like Idaho. Or Montana. Or somewhere with lots of open meadows and horses and oak trees. Maybe that is where I belong. Away from the sophisticated city life where I lose things and spill things and make plenty of mistakes for people to notice.

Off the subject... last night I dreamt that I was a contestant on American Idol. Somehow I had made it to the top 10, but I was too scared to go on stage and perform because I thought Simon was going to tell me how awful I was.

Also, happy last day of February to me!! No offense to February... it hasn't been a bad month. But I am very excited to say that I have survived what I hope will have been the coldest and stormiest days of my first real winter! I don't want to jinx anything here. But I am hoping March might be nice enough to bring some warmer days ahead.

And if I'm really good, maybe it will even bring some people that I haven't seen in way too long.

Karma

I am a very strong believer. Which helps keep me in check, I think. And also helps me feel better during the times when other people are deserving to be kept in check. Thank you, universe, for always settling the score.

In other news... I was on the phone with India today. For like an hour. You know the world has become a crazy place when you can sit on your couch in your undies and talk to New York and Mumbai at the same time while eating cereal and watching Gilmore Girls on mute.

Alsoooo... I might have a hot date this weekend :) And I do mean hot. This might be the hottest weekend I've had in a while. But I can't tell you any more. It's top secret stuff :)

Existential Crisis, continued

So does anybody know what they're doing in life? Because I certainly do not. Some days I want to be a powerful business lady and some days I want to be a camp counselor and some days I just want to stay home and eat fruit loops out of the box. And some days I just want to get married to a rich pilot named Jake the Bachelor and spend my days lounging by the pool. (Usually not the last one, though. Don't judge.)

And then sometimes I want to go back to my old life of sleeping by day, studying by night, and partying away the weekends. Except my kind of parties often involve a good match of Cranium. I'm a good hummer, what can I say.

But I'm pretty sure some famous person once said "you can't go home again." I have no idea who said that, and I can't be sure that I'm not just pulling it out of thin air, but either way I think about it a lot. And it makes me kind of sad. Because I think this mysterious person I'm quoting was being philosophical and pointing out that when circumstances change, people change, and that changed people have different ideas and perspectives than their former selves, and as such, you can't expect to return to your former life and find things waiting for you as you remember them. Either your former life changed while you were away, or YOU have changed and now view it differently, or more likely, both.

That's just a saddening thought. Because I was really hoping that I could "go home" again, if I wanted to. Both literally and figuratively. And now I'm not so sure what the heck is happening.

Also I really hope my updated self is not a workaholic who watches American Idol on Tuesday nights for a dose of excitment. Like I REALLLLY hope not. Cuz I would like to be someone way cooler than that.

Thank goodness for weekends :)

Not so much for big ugly snowstorms that are heading my way. I'm pretty sure I am working from my couch tomorrow.