Gym Etiquette

If the incredibly arrogant guy who I just spent a half an hour with at the gym is reading this, then hi. I have the following things to say to you:

1) I do NOT want to hear your loud grunty sounds while you lie on your back and lift weights. I swear I even heard an "oh baby." And that was with my HEADPHONES on. Gross!

2) You are WAY too into yourself. How many times did you walk over to the mirror and check yourself out?? Yes, congratulations, you have muscles! Someone's mom once told me that if a guy spends more time looking in the mirror than I do, that is NOT a good sign. Get over yourself.

3) You really didn't need to make little dancing moves in between sets. I was RIGHT THERE. Next time if you could wait til you get back inside your apartment to get your sexy on, that would be much appreciated.

4) If you are not a complete narcissistic jerk, then don't act like one. People are judging you. Especially me.

5) Shouldn't you have a membership to a REAL gym, where you can be surrounded by other boys just like you? You know, guys with big muscles and inflated egos? Or can you not stand your kind, either? I sincerely hope we do not run into each other again.